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November 25, 2012 / daryleverett

How to make Turkey giblet gravy….and laugh or cry

Start by saving the turkey neck and giblets from Thanksgiving and putting them in the fridge until you get potatoes.

Once you decide to make rice instead, add the turkey parts to some water in a pot and heat on the stove top.

Call mother for help with gravy directions. Leave message.

Go check your email and social media accounts.

While checking your accounts, chat with your 2 year old about the kosher salt that he is licking from his foot after making footprints in the salt pile from silk painting last night.

After a while, go to check on the gravy. Notice what your child is actually doing 2 feet from you.

Remember that you were sitting in the chair that is in the corner of this scene while he poured the final three-quarters of the box of salt onto the floor and dyed it.

Reply to “Mommy, salt on the floor. You need to vacuum it.”

Remember that you were checking on the gravy.

Open the door to the rest of the house and inhale the sweet (putrid) smell of burning turkey organs.

Add water to pot. Remove everything.

Scrub the pot and return the turkey parts to the pot with water and almond milk.

Warm until bubbly.

Add cornstarch. Avoid the knight’s sword while pouring cornstarch.

Determine if 1/2 cup of cornstarch is really overkill for 1 cup of liquid.

Add more almond milk.

Stir with wooden spoon.

Remove cornstarch-encased spoon and turkey parts from pot. Set aside.


Call mother since she hasn’t returned your call yet.

Keep whisking.

Add more milk.

Add more cornstarch.

Add salt and pepper to taste.


Strain out cornstarch globs using a fork.

Consider the possibility of leaving the blobs and telling everyone that it is a new recipe with tapioca.

Keep straining.

Savor the delicious fruits of your labor!


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